First winter alone

The thermostat is set to a number I chose. The dishes in the sink are dishes I have agreed to. The light in the hallway has been on for six minutes longer than necessary because I am the only person who would turn it off and I have decided to be generous with myself tonight.

I did not know it would be quiet like this. I thought I would feel free. I feel free in flashes, between the longer stretches of not knowing what to do with the freedom. Freedom is a hallway and I have not learned which doors to open.

I made soup. I made too much. I put it in three containers and labeled them with the date because nobody is going to label them for me. Labeling them was a small act of company. I sat down and ate from the pot directly because nobody is going to mind.