Do not call, just read

Do not call. I am not avoiding you. I am gathering the words and the words are slow this week and the phone is faster than I am and I cannot keep up with the speed of my own voice.

Read instead. Read what I write here. Read what I do not write, the spaces around the sentences, which are also for you. Read the way you used to read me when we were quieter, when we did not have so many ways to reach each other and so we paid attention to the few we had.

I am not finished. I am also not unwell. I am working on a sentence I have been carrying for years, and it needs both my hands, and I cannot hold the phone at the same time.